On being African....

I have learned a few important lessons recently that I feel compelled to share.

Living in London has been a fantastic experience, as was living in different parts of the United States. I wonder though, does every African outside the continent go through a phase where you become aware of just how 'African' you are? And how do you deal with that? Maybe I'm not making sense but I'll try to explain.

I am privileged to sit in a classroom made up of men and women from different parts of the world, North America, Europe, Asia and Africa. As students in a global health course we spend a lot of time discussing health issues in developing countries and invariably the conversation ALWAYS turns to Africa. It's can't be helped, there are so many developing countries on the one continent. Increasingly though, I am aware of this general acceptance of Africa as the problem to be solved. I know I am not saying anything new, and I am sure that many have said it more eloquently than I am now. But yes, it's now the norm to refer quickly and easily to African problems (even by us Africans), and if you're lucky enough to be Nigerian, the even more problems peculiar to us.

So recently, I have found that when I am sitting down in class, and the discussion is swirling around my head about "a project I did in X country in Africa" and learning the customs and meeting the tribal chiefs and blah blah blah, I start getting hotter, a little more tense, and I don't want to look at who's speaking because they are 'foreigners'. Then I stop to marvel at my fellow Africans who converse freely with these 'foreigners' who have come to 'help' us....I don't understand why they are not struggling as I am. In recent conversations with another mixed group, Nigerians, Brits and South Africans (great combination!) I recall that same heat building up, as the problems of Nigeria were vividly painted. Then a British-Ghanaian friend, forgetting my Nigerian presence, prepared to comment on how different Nigerians were from the rest of...Africa? the world? I don't know. But she only stopped short on seeing my face...I wonder how I must have looked. And my fellow Nigerian in the conversation said "I know how you feel, I used to feel that way too"...and in my mind, I wondered, 'you used to feel that way too, until what?' The conversation went on amicably but I was more aware than ever of this Africanness, whatever that means...and I seemed to be the only one who felt it. So I've been asking myself 2 questions:

1) What am I really angry about? Is it the British person excited about a mini-sojourn into Africa (I want so badly to say you will know next to nothing about 'Africa' when you come back! - but that's emotion talking); or the now-expert British people, who have spent years on the continent and can tell you 'what the problem is'? I know we can't blame our history but we can't ignore it either...What am I really angry about?

2) Should I be ashamed of my anger? Is it wrong and I'm just being proud? After all, I am not blind, deaf or mentally unable to understand that indeed Africa, my Africa, is full of problems...and Nigeria too.


So I had a chat with a good friend who's a fellow African in the Diaspora (I love this word). Interestingly, our conversation started out differently. Instead I was expressing my frustration at feeling less than sufficient to be called Nigerian! My poor grasp on my beautiful native language, Yoruba, makes me struggle. For two reasons: 1) It is indeed a beautiful language and I simply wish I could express myself in it. 2) Everyone who finds out I was born and raised in Nigeria but can't speak it assumes this look of shock and horror :-[ (give me a break). So in the middle of feeling very un-African, I began to share how I was getting so defensive of this same Africa! Talk about paradox. Her words simply reminded me to give everyone a break. Myself first, you speak the languages you are taught, I wasn't taught to speak Yoruba so I don't speak it, but I can learn. Simple. Then give others a break. For a child growing up in the West, they indeed only get one side of the African story, that is their truth, their reality. Don't hold it against them. Let them off the hook, you'd do the same if you were them. Drop the 'us vs them' attitude, my first identity is as a human being, as is theirs.

Finally, I guess to answer my questions the more I thought about it, the more I realised I am angry because Africans don't need help. Not in a prideful, we-can-do-it-ourselves way, but simply that between us as Africans, we have enough talent, education, passion and money to care for each other. I shouldn't have to come to London and donate to World Vision to rescue starving children at home in West Africa. Is anything wrong with that? Absolutely not, but I should not have to. Caring for my people, who when I was born gave me an identity, should be part of my life. As it should be for all of us... Love is the crux of Christianity, and that is how they changed society and the world then. We are still benefiting from the societal reforms of people who cared years ago and recently. If we stop caring, or simply don't care enough...well, it is a sad future for the coming generations. I am not ashamed of my anger, no. I think instead I can find something useful to do with it.

Writing is important so we don't forget; I'm writing this so I don't forget. History education is missing in schools and where it exists....boring! My understanding of Nigeria was developed by books in London... (chai!) We have a long way to go...it's ok though, I will start in my own small way. Whatever that is, and pursue it till the end.

Opportunities, opportunities, opportunities....

2012 has certainly been a lesson in opportunities so far! It's only March and I already feel like I've done so much! Far more than I have time to sit and properly document on this my poor, neglected blog....


"No great man ever complains of want of opportunity."
Ralph Waldo Emerson


Between the months of January and March I have been faced with and taken several opportunities, each uniquely worth it. I have of course also missed out on some, but that ok! One step at a time...


The CrowdOutAIDS process has been unique and deeply insightful. Connecting with young men and women representing the different regions of the world to put together a strategy for UNAIDS to engage with young people. My first thought of course, who am I to represent West and Central Africa? But that was closely followed by the more wonderful question, who am I not to? Regardless of what I think, I have a chance to be the best representative for the region I call home, and what an experience it has been! Lot's of reading and discussion, massive attempts at critical thinking and exploring solutions, all while trying to learn and get good grades in my MSc course! the process isn't over yet, but I'm grateful for the wonderful contacts I've made and the experience in collaborative authoring (sounds so fancy!).


And then there was the Cambridge Aid for Health Negotiations, a simulation that allowed you to learn the complexities and difficulties of high-level negotiations between country representatives and aid donors, a common occurrence today. I was privileged to represent the National AIDS Commission and wow! What a challenge. Mandated to 'keep the peace and present a united front' with the rest of the government all the while disagreeing strongly with the Minister of Health, fighting my own self-interest and yet striving not to be a 'donor darling'. What a hard balance! I may not have fully agreed with the perspectives of the role I was assigned but what a way to learn a crucial skill. True negotiation rarely happens at the table...and never happens outside of a relationship. Food for thought.


And somehow, I can't seem to get away from writing. Not that I'm running! Recently began contributing to Ventures Africa, awesome start-up magazine. Check out my column, Ventures Woman. It is very easy to hear people's stories and not be inspired, gloss over, brush past...but the more I hear, the more I'm made to stop and listen, the more this idea becomes real to me: the is a bit of God in everyone, a bit of greatness. But I shouldn't be surprised by great and inspiring humans, we don't just have a bit of greatness, we we're created in the very image of greatness. What learning for the small-minded of the earth.


No, no, it's not that there are no opportunities. It's that too often like Mark Twain "I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one."


I'm definitely inspired to be different and loving it.

To read or not to read?: How Stupidity Saved My Life by Okechukwu Ofili

Welcome to the second blog of the year! I thought what better way to make the year count than by starting with something as inspiring as a book?

I was given a copy of Ofili's book, 'How stupidity saved my life' by my boyfriend who recently became a big fan of his and I have decided to review it for everyone's benefit.

The cover of the book is extremely well done and the picture of Ofili leaning casually on the title is suggestive of the wit and humour inside the book. He summarises the book in one line: 'Life Lessons from an Overanalytical Engineer', and that left me wondering...what could this book be about? The Ofili on the cover looks too young (at least by our traditional culture) to have gathered enough deep proverbs to fill a book, too serious to write nonsense and yet somehow mischievous enough to keep you entertained.... Coupled with the one rave review I received, I decided to read.

In an attempt to keep this short and sweet I won't go into all the details but this is without a doubt a fantastic book! So simple and yet so relevant! You know what's great? He didn't lie when he said it was a book of 'life lessons from an overanalytical engineer'! Ofili's collection of random stories from life in the US, trying to be successful and make it big despite the rigours of the single, working life make for some great lessons.

With chapter titles like 'My stocks are on ecstasy', 'I almost got arrested' and 'The racist cardboard box' I actually went through the book alternately laughing out loud and exclaiming "hmmmm....deep!".

My personal favourite is 'The bird that broke the glass ceiling', a chapter that touches lightly on impatience then lands firmly on human kindness. See, Ofili was just about to move out of an old apartment into his new home and was basically done packing. He lay down on his bed staring out of the skylight overhead, one endearing feature of this old apartment. A bird (let's call him Chukwudi) decided to land on the skylight and just when all he wanted was peace and quiet, this Chukwudi bird proceeded to coo loudly and continuously. (Can anyone relate? Maybe it's not a bird, maybe its that one friend that always seems to come over just when you want to sleep and won't stop talking.... maybe it's your mother (sorry mums!) Anyway Ofili got a bright idea, as we humans so often do, and decided to throw his shoe at the skylight to scare off the bird (his first few attempts had failed). So he took the shoe and threw it.

Now either the skylight was old and weak, or Ofili doesn't know his own strength but one way or another the skylight shattered and broke! Costing him $3000 on his final move out day!!!! (I died inside on his behalf...if you know landlords, this is what many wait for. There goes your deposit and extra charges!). Let's just say that Chukwudi didn't break the ceiling. Impatience did. But mysteriously, the $3000 charge was never billed to Ofili. You see, many of us don't have great relationships with our landlords/ladies, but somehow, Ofili had managed a very pleasant/courteous relationship throughout his 2 year stay and is convinced by how much the management went out of their way to help him that day, that they covered the charges themselves! I don't know about you but I found this story both shocking and tender.  $3000 is a lot of money for anyone to cover!

Truth is, you never know when acts of kindness and a decision to be humane in an increasingly inhumane world can 'save your life' in future. I don't believe stupidity saved Ofili's life, though from some of the incredible and often hilarious stories I can understand the book title! But he possesses the gift of self-reflection, something too many of us live without and as such rarely grow in depth of character. His book left me feeling fantastic! Not in the feel-good-and-tell-yourself-you're-amazing sense, but rather that perhaps the seemingly ordinary aspects of my life could hold deep lessons worth learning and even sharing. I finished the book feeling like I could write about my life and people would be inspired. The same is true for you and anyone.

So, to read or not to read? That is the question..... I would say definitely read. You can get it on amazon.com!

I bet that when I meet Ofili in person, I will think of that bird, Chukwudi, and smile....

Everything is New! Good or bad, it's at least new

Wow! We are indeed in the new year 2012! For all of us who made it alive and well, we have a lot to be grateful for. My first thought when considering the year 2012 was 'make it count'.




For many many reasons, 2011 was a tough year for the world, Nigeria and numerous individuals. From the numerous conflicts and economic crises, to varied protests, violent and otherwise, to Nigeria's bombings, floods, removal of fuel subsidy, addition of Lekki toll, and the passing of Mr Seyi Dare, a member of my church, husband and Father of 3 boys, so close to the end of the year, 2011 has definitely been hard for many.


Taking a few words of wisdom from that old book that never ever gets old:


Habakkuk 3

¹⁷ Though the fig tree does not bud
   and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
   and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
   and no cattle in the stalls,
¹⁸ yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
   I will be joyful in God my Savior.

¹⁹ The Sovereign LORD is my strength; 

   he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
   he enables me to tread on the heights.

Let's keep perspective this year, everything is temporary and always changing. By 2013, it will be another new year, whatever happens this year, good or bad, we will still have a 'new' year. 

The most important thing is to "begin with the end in mind" (Stephen Covey), in 2012 and in life. Make 2012 count and whatever happens we can rejoice and give God the glory at the end of the year and the end of our lives!

In Pursuit

Examining stigma: Us vs. Them

Hey all,

I thought I would share a recent blog post I was privileged to write at a friend's recommendation. (Thanks Jen!) While I am not deeply involved in the AIDS response, I have always been interested (more like intrigued) by the concept of stigma and how it plays out in my life and in other's lives. I think of how I react when a clearly mentally ill person is near, my danger tentacles rise. Or even someone sniffling and sneezing next to me on the bus; I recoil. 

Regardless of the physiological aspects of disease and illness, we all have certain 'ways' we react, whether with compassion, fear or disgust. These have the potential to fuel or quench "othering" in society: the process whereby you identify people as different from yourself or from the norm and deliberately or not, create dominance and subordination in society (Johnson et al, 2004)

We have the power, let's use it effectively. 

Why do people draw a line between “them” and “us”?

Posted on CrowdOutAIDS African English Forum [ http://www.crowdoutaids.org/]

Guest Blogger: Folake Soetan

The great thing about a concept like crowdsourcing is that you get the input of many individuals from varied backgrounds on one topic of interest. Like noses, everyone has an opinion and a suggestion on how to improve the current AIDS situation including improving the lives of young people living with HIV. This is of course what the CrowdoutAIDS campaign is looking for.

While reading through the contributions left by several participants in the Africa forum, I noticed two ‘sides’ beginning to emerge: one was obvious and the other was not. Contributors often referred to a certain group as “they” and “them”, this group being youths living with HIV. Several comments encouraged “them” to disclose their status; “they” should become ambassadors for change; “they” should speak out… This instantly brings up the question: who is on the other side of the equation? If there is a “them”, there will certainly be an “us”.

We recognise that stigma is still one of the strongest driving forces against getting tested and status disclosure. Stigma also intensely restricts the impact of education and advocacy. Even as great strides have been made and many youths are risking their social acceptance and even lives to take a stand against the spread of HIV, there is still intense stigma surrounding a young person who discloses their HIV-positive status, not just to their family, but among other youth.

In seeking to involve youth more in developing an effective AIDS response strategy, it is important for government,  NGOs and/or UNAIDS to recognise both sides of the stigma equation – young people living with HIV and those living without. It is reasonable to expect HIV-positive youth to take a lead in the HIV response with education and encouragement of their peers to get tested. But all potential ‘stigmatisers’, that is the “us”, also have a leading role to play in the response.

Organizations like UNAIDS can create an environment that welcomes openness about one’s status by conducting well-rounded training sessions for youth that include relationship management between those living with and without HIV. How would you respond if your close friend reveals he/she is HIV positive? How would you respond if you discover one of your classmates/colleagues has HIV but you don’t know who? Is it acceptable to ask a person living with HIV questions? What questions would you ask? Asking questions like this in a training environment will reveal inmost prejudices, and prepare all youths to take a stand, even if it is a lonely one, alongside a HIV-positive youth.

Any strategy that seeks to create an empowering environment for people living with HIV must target us, not just them. Youths living without HIV have a vital role to play in the AIDS response. If you are living without HIV, it’s time to stop seeing yourself on the other side of the equation. Only when them and us become we can the issue of stigma in AIDS advocacy be properly tackled.

I used to hate politics....

It's been a while! Quite a lot has happened since my last post that I would love to share in detail. However, due to recall bias (poor use of the term but I must practice my research methods lingo or die), I am unlikely to remember everything I had hoped to share.

The majority of my time has been occupied with writing a 2000 word essay (or better phrased, critical analysis) discussing 'The political barriers to the sustainable financing of health systems in low-income countries'. This topic jumped out at me from a list of 7 options. Mind you there were a lot of other extremely interesting choices such as discussing HIV/AIDS as a security issue (is it a security issue??) but being a citizen of the great state of Nigeria, I couldn't help but think about our current health system.

You might know far more than I do on this topic; no contest, but I saw this as an opportunity to understand what a health system is, what keeps it going and the constraints it faces particularly in developing countries like ours. Without going into too much detail, it is clear from the literature that the challenges faced in development and maintenance of a good health system are created through politics. Of course it follows then that the solutions to these problems are also political! Indeed that is what I have found!

A good health system isn't just having doctors and hospitals, although these are necessary. Instead it is really about making healthcare available and accessible to all people. This means that regardless of your income, who you are (big-man syndrome??) or where you live, you have access to healthcare at the point when you need it. It also means that not only can you afford to access the care at that point, but that in getting care, you are not driven below the poverty line. How many of us have heard stories of families struggling to pay gargantuan hospital bills? Or of people dying  because they were turned away at a health centre due to lack of money? (I read one such story as a kid and never forgot.... the story ended with something like "as she stood  outside the hospital clutching her dying baby, it gave one final shudder and cry, stretched out (as if in pain) and died..." It sounds unbelievably dramatic but as the Yorubas say "aimoye" - only God knows how many people have died or been disabled similarly.

I had a discussion with one of my professors, a normal bubbly and enthusiastic lady. To be perfectly honest it wasn't the greatest conversation for other reasons but in the course of discussing a potential topic for my dissertation (due next year) she said point-blank: "universal [health] coverage is not on the Nigerian policy agenda". I could not agree or disagree...I had no idea! So slowly but surely, I am happening on a potential area of research for myself, the makings of what I hope will be a great dissertation. So I'm getting into politics after all. Ah well even Moses was once reluctant... lol

In Pursuit of what? Many things, but definitely change!!

Quick fixes for life

Don't we all want quick fixes for life's problems? A good friend told me to keep it short and sweet. Here goes...

Based on the last post, it is evident that there are no quick fixes to the global health aid/health systems problems. If there were, at least one of the milieu of smart people gathered at the top would have figured something out by now right? Did you know that this 'sustainability problem' is far from new? It's not an issue that has risen up in the last 5 years, although it has become a popular topic within that time frame. We had to read a paper written in 1995 by Anna LaFond titled (you guessed it) "The Sustainability Problem". I won't go into the details here but I do want to take this matter and relate it back to our individual lives.

Isn't the problem with quick fixes in our lives that they are not sustainable? Of course we have the classic examples of crash diets, that is so played out I will give it no further mention. How about our characters? [Character: the aggregate of features and traits that form the individual nature of some person or thing. e.g. affectionate, ambitious, argumentative, secretive, lazy, obedient, harsh etc]


If you have ever tried to change an aspect of your character, one of the things that fundamentally makes you you, you will agree that it is undoubtedly one of the most difficult things ever. If you implement a 'quick fix' without tackling the real root issue (as I know I certainly have), you come right back to the same place.

In the end, human character drives the way the world works. If selfish ambition is the driver, the results always will be win-lose. Those on the losing end in today's world are mainly the poor (and all the things that go along with poverty). No 'quick fix global health or development initiative', in light of this core character issue, is going to solve our problems. Like the bandage on the cracked egg, the egg is still cracked and it's only a matter of time before it breaks. Health problems aren't just health problems, they are social problems, people problems, character problems.

Just a thought....